HAFTARAH BLING

The "famous rapper performs at rich kid's Bar/Bat Mitzvah" trope is a familiar one. But when that famous rapper is Drake, it's slightly more resonant; the Canadian YMCMB/Republic superstar, you see, is Jewish himself—and in addition to performing at a few of these rites of passage once had one of his own.

In any event, the New York Post's Page Six reports that Drizzy performed at the Rainbow Room for the Bat Mitzvah of Gigi Ashkenazy, offspring of real estate magnate Ben Ashkenazy. (The Post cites TMZ in noting that Drake charges $300k-600k for private engagements.) The tweens in attendance, understandably, went berserk. How the adults might have felt about 13-year-olds singing along to a hookup anthem like "Hotline Bling" is another matter but, nu, they grow up so fast.

Sunrise, Sunset, yo.

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/29a)
TAY RACKS UP STATS, OBLITERATES RECORDS
What did you expect? (4/29a)
HIPGNOSIS BOARD APPROVES UPPED BLACKSTONE BID
Let's make a deal. (4/29a)
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
Another triumph for the master marketer (4/29a)
CLIVE CHATS CLIVE, CARNEGIE HALL TRIBUTE AND MORE
The ageless one is feted. (4/29a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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