SUPER BOWL 50 HIGHLIGHTS

The noteworthy sights and sounds (verified by Shazam) during the big game included…

• An operatic, chest-thumping performance of The National Anthem from Lady Gaga, decked out in red pantsuit, with red (eyelids), white (bouffant) and blue (nails) accessories
• Avocados From Mexico spot featuring Scott Baio and an ensemble of Star Trekky future people on a museum tour of artifacts from present-day America
• Audi R8 spot featuring Bowie’s “Starman,” tagged with the legend “In memory of the Starman.”
• Flight of the Conchords and Key & Peele reunions
• The acting debut of Odell Beckham and his blonde tips in a Buick commercial
• Amy Schumer and Seth Rogan turn “caucus” into a dirty word in a Bud Light ad also starring Paul Rudd
• Ryan Reynolds shilling for Hyundai
• Cam Newton’s coordinated Carolina blue chewing gum
• Gary Kubiak’s telltale dye job
• Awesome, Matrix-like 360 replay of Jonathan Stewart’s airborne touchdown dive—which would be Carolina’s only TD
• Celebrity paychecks: Anthony Hopkins (TurboTax), Liam Neeson (LG), Drake (T-Mobile/Apple co-op), Helen Mirren (Bud)
• Overall, there was a refreshing shift away from titillation and shock value (Mtn Dew's PuppyMonkeyBaby grossout excepted) and toward cinematic exposition in the commercials. The extended car-chase action movie introducing the Prius 4 is a strong example, as is the aforementioned Audi narrative, embedded below.
• Overarching takeaway: The difference between the NFL and college football, exemplified by this dull, bruising game, is that while defense is dominant in the pros, college ball is in a golden age of offensive innovation. Every pivotal play in the Super Bowl was defensive, apart from one Denver punt return, which goes to special teams. In today’s NFL, as Seattle showed two years ago, and Denver reiterated tonight with a D created in response to that beat-down by the Seahawks—is that a dominant defense can carry an average offense all the way to the Super Bowl, and win it.
• Football's over for nearly eight months.