Those who thought rock was dead must immediately stage-dive headfirst into the mosh pit. Things are really rolling now.

Elektra’s Staind lived up to—make that EXCEEDED—high expectations, with a monster #1 debut and first-week sales north of 765,000 units. Yup, kiddies, that makes "Break the Cycle" the year’s biggest debut, besting the Dave Matthews Band’s opening week by 35k or so. Do you think retail’s happy?

"We’ve seen mindboggling numbers from Staind coming right on the heels of Tool and Weezer last week," said Wherehouse’s Bob Bell, who learned everything he knows about American history from Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay.

"With Staind, you had the benefit of two huge tracks at radio," gurgled Bell, who now ranks "Pearl Harbor" among his all-time favorites list, just behind, "Porky’s 5." "For an act to have what felt like a six-month setup, with two singles, is rare."

While Staind simply dominated this week’s chart, it wasn’t the only high debut. Def Jam/IDJ’s Redman pulled an impressive #4 bow, while RCA’s Tyrese debuted at #9, just ahead of WB rockers Static-X, who came this close to making a Top 10 debut, landing in the 11^th slot.

Joining the mighty #1 and Redman in this week’s Top Five are Volcano’s Tool, last week’s chart-topper, which drops to #2, Columbia’s Destiny’s Child at #3, and Staind labelmate Missy Elliott at #5. Just behind Missy is yet another rock band, Geffen’s Weezer, hanging tough at #6 after its #3 bow.

"Bruckheimer’s a genius," said Bell, who spent a load of money to pack his quote with lots of action—as well as a sappy, unrealistic love story—before shoving it down the throats of ignorant American mall rats everywhere. Thank you.