NO HIT ON LARS, BUT PLENTY ON THEIR SITE
Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich didn't get shot, but he was targeted by a devilish Internet hoax. An online report alleged Ulrich was shot Sunday (12/17) morning outside an Austin, Texas hotel by an assailant who shouted "You killed Napster" before pumping the drummer with bullets. While the page was designed to look like CNN.com and attributed the story to the Associated Press, it was actually created by the criminal minds at Abobo.com. The site posted an anti-Lars manifesto, which stated: "Abobo no like greedy rock star named Lars Ulrich. Abobo don't think it fair at all that because he download one Metallica song he already heard for free he get banned from entire Napster. Napster good, Lars bad." It goes on and on like that, but we just don't have room. Metallica's management, Q-Prime, said the story is fake, while the Austin Police Department deemed it "a bad publicity stunt." No word yet if the same is true of the recent certification of our next President.

PLUGGED IN
Move over, Grammys, Bammies and Moonmen: There's a new awards show in town. The PLUG 2000 Independent Music Awards will honor indie acts, with nominees including At The Drive In, Coldplay, Ryan Adams, Good Riddance and the Dwarves. PLUG is an independent music collective of music directors and programmers, columnists, magazine editors, artists and independent labels. Winners will be announced January 22, 2001 during the Sundance and Slamdance Film Festivals in Park City, UT. Voting will take place www.plugawards.com until January 8. Some show presenters are apparently concerned about security, given the possibility that a band no one has heard of will bum-rush the stage to protest the awarding of a trophy to a band that a few people have heard of.

CRUISIN' FOR A BRUISIN'
Junior Brown, Asleep At The Wheel, Michael McDonald and Tommy Castro are among the acts confirmed for the 2001 Delbert McClinton & Friends Sandy Beaches Cruise VII. The boat will sail January 2 from Port Manatee, FL and return on January 7 with stops in Progreso and Cozume. The Delbert Cruise Takes place on the 1,000-passenger Regal Cruise Lines' Empress liner. In addition to 16-hours of live music per day, the cruise offers jam sessions, artist sit-ins and autograph sessions. For more information, contact Entertainment Travel at (800) DEL-BERT or go to delbert.com. Other activities scheduled for passengers include whittlin', jug-blowin' and just plain a-settin'.

NEEDING A LITTLE R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Aretha Franklin is suing The Star for $50 million over an article that claims she canceled a number of concerts because of a drinking problem. The article in question, titled "Aretha Franklin Drinking Herself Into The Grave," said the R&B legend's "drinking is threatening her career and her life!" The Queen of Soul said she "was appalled and shocked to hear last week that there was a totally trashy and grossly untrue article using [her] name and likeness in a weekly sleaze supermarket paper." The article cites an "insider" as a source who details a number of tawdry incidents that star the allegedly drunk and disorderly diva. "You betta think (think) ‘bout what you tryin' to do to me," she howled. "I'm a do right woman. They should be do right men!"

WHAT DO YOU CALL RAGE AGAINST RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE?
Rage Against The Machine is posting previously unavailable songs and videos to its Web site in an attempt to appease angry fans about their being booted from Napster last week. Some fans found themselves banned from Napster after the group's management and record label allegedly gave the song-swapping service a list of user names of people suspected of trading unauthorized songs. Guitarist Tom Morello offered a public apology and said he had asked the label to reverse the action. The band has since posted 15 songs and eight videos, all previously unreleased. Some fans have questioned the band's sincerity, as the downloads each carry a $100 price tag.

HELL ON WHEELS
Country music star Garth Brooks is being sued for allegedly limiting wheelchair seating at a concert so "pretty women" could sit in the first two rows. Brooks' attorney denied the allegation, saying people in the front rows are generally Brooks' friends. A judge ruled Friday (12/15) that the complaint can proceed to trial. Joanne Lawrence alleges that Brooks and his promoters violated the federal Americans with Disabilities Act and state civil rights laws. Lawrence filed a similar lawsuit against the Tacoma Dome and Ticketmaster after a 1993 Brooks show and agreed to an out-of-court settlement. "I don't care if she's in a wheelchair," Brooks' alter ego, Chris Gaines, said. "If she looked good, we'd have wheeled her down."

THIS ISN'T MIAMI, AND HE'S NO JIM MORRISON
About 150 parents and their children rushed out of Los Angeles' Shrine Auditorium Saturday (12/16) after a member of K-Ci & Jo-Jo allegedly exposed himself during the KIIS-FM Jingle Ball holiday concert. Concertgoers at the Shrine Auditorium got more than they bargained for when Cedric "K-Ci" Hailey reportedly undressed and exposed his genitals to the mostly young, female audience. "He was up there doing his dance, next thing you know, the shirt is off, he undoes his pants, pulls down his boxers and lets everything hang out," said attendee and mother of three Lori Howard. At least a dozen angry parents, who accompanied their children to the concert, notified the Los Angeles Police Department, which began taking complaints within minutes of the incident. The radio station issued a written statement before the event ended, saying: "KIIS-FM apologizes to all of our listeners and fans for K-Ci's actions. We do not condone such behavior." No one speculated about the huge spike in K-Ci & Jo-Jo album sales over the weekend.