REASONS TO BE THANKFUL, PT. 3: Due to pre-holiday anxiety (coupled with monthly hormonal, um, tension), HITS fearless leader Lenny Beer has been enlisted for editorial assistance with this column (a different sort of sleep-inducing turkey). Since I’m too lazy to walk from my office to his (10 feet away), we "wrote" this via IM:

Ivanageek: feel free to write my column for me
CLIPRBOY: so, it is pms week again and i feel like shit.....
Ivanageek: i only need 890 more words
CLIPRBOY: pete yorn, interpol, phantom planet, hanson... 884
CLIPRBOY: gaby's wedding
CLIPRBOY: 882
CLIPRBOY: erika is in england hanging out with cute gay boys
CLIPRBOY: hope she finds the darkness, we love them and love to wear their shirt while pmsing and hating everyone
Ivanageek: she’s in germany. she’s going to see Travis.
CLIPRBOY: that too
CLIPRBOY: also, i haven't told lenny to fuck off and die yet
CLIPRBOY: but that will happen soon
CLIPRBOY: it was great seeing lisa worden at gaby's wedding and hearing her say how well hoobastank is doing at her station
Ivanageek: we didn’t talk about that, but I did congratulate her on whfs’ xmas show selling out and hooba are playing the show
CLIPRBOY: there you go
Ivanageek: can I have your Clippers tickets for thursday?
CLIPRBOY: pearson has them. ask Ted.
Ivanageek: I’ll see him tonight at the star spangles’ show. they’re playing with rooney.
CLIPRBOY: ah, my favorites. of all the bands you’ve ever gone to see, these are definitely two of them.
CLIPRBOY: and of course our beloved early november is playing in town tonite, altho i have no idea where, i doubt they are playing at halftime at the clippers game
CLIPRBOY: have i mentioned that it is pms week
Ivanageek: not enough
CLIPRBOY: i heard the strokes record on the radio at that zeta station in florida this week, good track, when do they put in the vocals?
Ivanageek: it's an instrumental with vocals
CLIPRBOY: iggy is awesome and hilary is in a really good mood cause duke has a great team this year... remember Luol Deng's name... he is good
CLIPRBOY: as for epic, let's not forget that jacqueline is wonderful and preggers and joel is wonderful and tends to shave a bit on the golf course
CLIPRBOY: and did i mention that it is pms week and even so that howie miura is incredibly thorough and awesome and on the verge of a mega-smash with hoobastank
Ivanageek: what about your favorites afi?
CLIPRBOY: the darkness is buzzworthy... afi is always worthy
Ivanageek: have i mentioned i've given you the best years of my life?
CLIPRBOY: how many words to go? i love thanksgiving and when this column is over with, it will be my next priority, that and discussing that it is pms week
CLIPRBOY: next week i will be back to discuss my latest period
Ivanageek: or my first hot flash (as my youth fades before me)
CLIPRBOY: but what a glorious youth it was, whiling (sp) away my best years in this sherman oaks cesspool... did i mention to you that i usta be important at A&M
Ivanageek: i was?
CLIPRBOY: i wonder how many people remember A&M and what A&M stood for, howabout a contest? the winner gets stuck in the office for a week listening to mel delatte tell old charlie minor anecdotes
Ivanageek: lol
Ivanageek: thank you for putting interpol on the cover this week
CLIPRBOY: interpol is awesome, how come nyc radio is not playing "NYC?"
Ivanageek: it's "too cool"
CLIPRBOY: everything is too something
CLIPRBOY: how's the word count going?
Ivanageek: need a big finish
CLIPRBOY: that's what all the girls say
Ivanageek: nice
Ivanageek: leave us with some words of wisdom (in my own words, of course)
CLIPRBOY: thank you and happy thanksgiving, it is the best day of the year.... about eating and family... very good things and ending with a tryptophan nap, which is another thing this column excels at
Ivanageek: say goodnight, gracie
CLIPRBOY: goodnight gracie