Behold our glorious inventory of the must-attend pre- and post-Grammy parties that we weren’t invited to, starting with Friday’s MusiCares event. Seems like a lot of fun; we wouldn’t really know, though, since the organizers have made it clear they don't want us anywhere in the vicinity. We did, however, break out the G-Pen to pretend like we were actually at the Hollywood Palladium last night for Snoop Dogg and Levi’s pre-Grammy party and gave ourselves the award for Most Cheetos Eaten in an Hour.

FRIDAY 2/6
MusiCares’ Pre-Grammy Event Honoring Bob Dylan as “Person of the Year”
@ Los Angeles Convention Center (5:30pm)—features performances from Beck, The Black Keys, Bonnie Raitt, Eddie Vedder, Jack White, Neil Young, Norah Jones, Willie Nelson and more

SATURDAY 2/7
RocNation’s Grammy Brunch Hosted by Jay Z
@ private residence (12pm)

Lucian and UMG’s Artist Showcase
@ The Theatre at the Ace Hotel (1pm)

Island’s Pre-Grammy Cocktail Party
@ STK (4:30pm)

Clive Davis and NARAS’ Pre-Grammy Gala
@ Beverly Hilton Hotel (7pm)

Primary Wave’s Pre-Grammy Party
@ RivaBella (8pm)

CAA’s Pre-Grammy Party
@ Sunset Tower (9pm)

SUNDAY 2/8
Sony’s After-Party
@ The Palm (8pm)

Lucian and UMG’s After-Party
@ Ace Hotel (8:30pm)

Pandora’s After Party
@ Create Nightclub—features a DJ set from Lil Jon

Red Light’s After-Party
@ Skybar (9pm)

Republic/Big Machine’s After-Party
@ Warwick

WMG’s After-Party
@ Chateau Marmont (9pm)—features performances by Lily Allen, Josh Groban, Hunter Hayes, The Black Keys, Blake Shelton, Neil Young and more

If the weekend's festivities don't utterly exhaust you, you can also attend the taping of Stevie Wonder: Songs in the Key of Life – An All Star Grammy Salute at the Nokia Theatre L.A. Live on Tuesday at 9pm.