In the Before Times, before the Orange One decreed that the big cough-cough was a hoax and the world was plunged into darkness, in-person plaque ceremonies were quite common. Indeed, the fossil record (two large, moldy filing cabinets in a long-abandoned office in the Forbidden Lands) reveals that such elbow-to-elbow photo opportunities, now unthinkable, happened with great regularity.

Now, as it is decreed that all but the MAGAbeasts must hide in our digi-spaces, awaiting the deliverance of the Instacart and bathed in the glow of our viewscreens, the plaque ritual continues... in the Temple of Zoom.

And so, my children, the people of RECORDS/Columbia and more mustered online to hail one of their own. Seen on hand (and ostensibly wearing pants) while commemorating the platinum certification of artist 24k Goldn are Electric Feel Ent.'s Andile Ndlovu, RECORDS' David Enriquez, Columbia's Ana Maldonado, RECORDS A&R/producer D.A. Doman, RECORDS Partner/overlord Barry Weiss, RECORDS' Sara Gil, Active Management's Cheyenne Lever, Electric Feel's Seth Friedman, Columbia's Sierra Lever, 24kGoldn, Columbia's Phylicia Fant, Active Management's Chioke "Stretch" McCoy and Electric Feel's Maggie Sellers and Austin Rosen.