March 8, 2000 pst

Island Def Jam Music Group Chairman Jim Caparro is set to deliver the keynote speech and gorge on bologna-wrapped cucumber fritters on June 9 at the third annual Emerging Artists & Talent in Music Conference's Showcase & Festival Keynote Luncheon, according to an EAT’M statement. The topic of Caparro’s speech has not been divulged, but sources indicate it may have something to do with emerging artists and talent, or something. Caparro was busy attempting to wager a pile of Hanson cutouts at a craps table at the Rio and was unavailable for comment.

By agreeing to speak at the three-year-old conference, Caparro follows previous keynoters George Martin and Ahmet Ertegun .

As of this posting, rumors that Caparro will referee a no-holds-barred mud wrestling and hog-tie match between fellow EAT’M participants Michael Robertson and Hilary Rosen went unconfirmed.