CONGRATULATIONS, KG (ALSO: SO SORRY)

HITS president Karen Glauber is now celebrating—well, maybe that's the wrong word; let's say marking—her 32nd anniversary with us. Somehow, throughout her tenure she has managed to retain her dry wit, trenchant analytical mind and keen love of music, despite the myriad indignities that come with working in our cesspool.

"Today is my 32nd anniversary at the career cul-de-sac known as HITS Magazine," KG announced in a post (because Facebook looks better on Julian's iPad than this site ever could). "We’ve given each other the best years of our lives—I’m forever grateful to Lenny and Dennis for their continued patronage and for my colleagues, whose faces I miss after two years at home."

Glauber interviews eternal object of contemplation Todd Rundgren; harmonizes with NSYNC; feels the "Heat" with Glass Animals; gets straight into it with N.W.A.

HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
VRRMMMM (5/20a)
HARD LAUNCH: EILISH GOES BIG AGAIN
"Lunch" and other tasty treats (5/20a)
OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
Another talented journalist trapped in the career cul de sac (5/20a)
NEAR TRUTHS: VARIANTS
Celebrity death match underway on album chart. (5/17a)
ON THE COVER:
HOZIER
Pour some sugar on us. (5/20a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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