THE BRAINWASH IS FREE BUT YOU PAY FOR THE DRYING

"Is this some kind of initiation rite or something?" asks freshly anointed SiriusXM/Pandora VP Music Curation & Programming Alex Tear, seen at right, during the genesis of this Grammy-party tableau. Neither Mr. Brainwash nor HITS President of His Boat Todd Hensley replied until the ayahuasca kicked in, at which point Alex had a visionary epiphany about the connective power of electronic media, and Todd learned that his spirit animal was a goldfish named Morty.

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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