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Monday, January 27, 2020

THE BRAINWASH IS FREE BUT YOU PAY FOR THE DRYING

"Is this some kind of initiation rite or something?" asks freshly anointed SiriusXM/Pandora VP Music Curation & Programming Alex Tear, seen at right, during the genesis of this Grammy-party tableau. Neither Mr. Brainwash nor HITS President of His Boat Todd Hensley replied until the ayahuasca kicked in, at which point Alex had a visionary epiphany about the connective power of electronic media, and Todd learned that his spirit animal was a goldfish named Morty.

 
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NEAR TRUTHS: INCOMPARABLE
Taylor world is an ecosystem. (5/7a)
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JENNIFER KNOEPFLE: THE HITS INTERVIEW
A publishing all-star tells her story. (5/7a)
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HITS LIST: HANGIN' OUT
With extra relish (5/7a)
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BEEF BRINGS LAMAR BACK TO SPOTLIGHT
No longer keeping his diss-tance. (5/7a)
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LIVE NATION POSTS (ANOTHER) RECORD QUARTER
More butts in seats than ever before. (5/3a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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