DOES ANYONE REMEMBER LAUGHTER?

"If I were pouring this tea for you in 1973," notes rock legend Robert Plant to WMG Recorded Music chief Max Lousada, "it would be infused with psilocybin mushrooms, mescaline and shredded bits of Anton LaVey incantations. But as it's 2018 I can assure you that it's just a lovely, robust Darjeeling and has been fully vetted by corporate."

In actuality, the two were united so Max could present Plant with the Nordoff Robbins O2 Silver Clef Outstanding Achievement Award. We're told that the tea was so strong that they were both tripping balls.

NEAR TRUTHS: INCOMPARABLE
Taylor world is an ecosystem. (5/8a)
JENNIFER KNOEPFLE: THE HITS INTERVIEW
A publishing all-star tells her story. (5/7a)
HITS LIST: HANGIN' OUT
With extra relish (5/7a)
BEEF BRINGS LAMAR BACK TO SPOTLIGHT
No longer keeping his diss-tance. (5/8a)
LIVE NATION POSTS (ANOTHER) RECORD QUARTER
More butts in seats than ever before. (5/3a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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