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JODY GERSON, SHE'S JOLLY GOOD


"I'm so excited for Harry! What a dream come true," exclaimed UMPG U.K. MD Mike McCormack at the BRITs—where the pubco's winners included Dua Lipa (British Female Solo Artist & British Breakthrough Act), Steve Mac (Best British Producer) and Harry Styles (Best British Artist Video).

"Yes, 'Sign of the Times,' is quite special," UMPG's global ruler, Jody Gerson, replied. "Oh, right, of course," muttered a blushing McCormack. "He's great, but what about the Prince and Meghan Markle? The wedding! I can't stop giggling in anticipation!"

Later, COO Marc Cimino (pictured below) prompted a heated argument, asking "Which flavor of Walkers Potato Crisps is more delicious? Prawn Cocktail or Marmite?

NEAR TRUTHS: SPRING BLOOMS
Here come the big guns. (3/28a)
THE COUNT: COLDPLAY IS HOT, COUNTRY'S COOKIN' IN THE U.K.
The latest tidbits from the bustling live sector (3/28a)
CITY OF HOPE TAPS MARCIANO FOR TOP HONOR
This year's philanthropic model (3/28a)
TRUST IN THE TOP 20
Hip-hop is no longer hibernating. (3/28a)
UMG BROADENS SPOTIFY OFFERINGS
Sir Lucian and Daniel are in harmony. (3/28a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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