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Friday, February 16, 2018

LEADING THE LEAGUE IN POINTS

During the All-Star tipoff event on the Capitol lot, Quality Control/Motown/Capitol's Migos (whose "Stir Fry" is practically the NBA theme song) receive a plaque commemorating their unreal streaming numbers. The trio got to 1 billion streams faster than any group ever with Culture II, causing Steve Barnett to become so giddy he could barely execute his turnaround jump shot. Still: Nothin' but net. Seen wondering what kind of D would keep us away are (l-r) QC's Coach K, Migos' Quavo, QC's Pee, the group's Offset and Takeoff, Motown prez Ethiopia Habtemariam and Barnett.

 
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HITS LIST IN BLOOM
From the desert to the sea (4/16a)
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ON THE COVER:
AARON BAY-SCHUCK
AND TOM CORSON
Bunny's hoppin' again. (4/16a)
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DESERT HEAT:
PAUL TOLLETT
The cat in the hat is calling the shots. (4/15a)
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THIS HITS PHOTO GALLERY IS WANDERING IN THE DESERT
Photographic proof of the weaselfest (4/15a)
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THE COUNT: SUPERSTARS TO SURPRISE AT COACHELLA?
The latest tidbits from the vibrant live sector (4/12a)
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THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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