UMG pic

MAGICAL FIDUCIARY TOUR: UMG ruler Lucian Grainge welcomes dignitaries to the firm’s Global Leadership Conference at its Santa Monica offices just before delivering his keynote address, “You’re Amazing! Spend Less Money.” Seen mentally curating a Beats Music playlist of vintage quarterly reports are (l-r) IGA Chairman/CEO Jimmy Iovine, Island Records founder Chris Blackwell, Grainge and Def Jam Co-Founder Russell Simmons. Later, Blackwell rolled a blunt the size of a Louisville Slugger and got Max Hole stoned as a newt. (2/6p)

HITS LIST BLASTS OFF
Space is the place for Tay. (4/26a)
SONG STREAMS: SWIFT SETS STREAMING RECORD
What did you expect? (4/26a)
SPRING BREAKOUTS: THESE HEATERS ARE STILL HOT
Who's Boomin who. (4/26a)
SONG REVENUE: “SWEET” SMELLS OF SUCCESS
Life after "Church" (4/26a)
STAGECOACH: SETS TO SEE AND PLACES TO BE
Saddle up, cowboys and cowgirls. (4/26a)
THE NEW UMG
Gosh, we hope there are more press releases.
TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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