SIRIUSXM'S Q1
IS A WIN

SiriusXM is on track for a strong year, according to quarterly earnings announced today.

The service added 259k net new self-pay subscribers in the first quarter 2017, reaching a total of 31.6 million subs.

Overall, Sirius XM experienced an 8% increase in revenue to attain a new record of $1.3b. Their net income for the period totaled $207m, or 4 cents per share, which is up from income of $172.4m, or 3 cents per share, from a year ago.

“The year is off to a very solid start for our business, and we are on track to achieve our guidance for 2017,” CEO Jim Meyer said.

SXM King of All Pop Kid Kelly (pictured at right after being hornswoggled into a pic with us) has told management he's going to need his own dedicated satellite for, like, parties and stuff.

HITS LIST: HORSEPOWER
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OH, TANNENBAUM! ANOTHER GREAT CAREER HITS THE SKIDS
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TIKTOK BANNED!
Unless the Senate manages to make this whole thing go away, that is.
THE NEW HUGE COUNTRY ACT
No, not that one.
TRUMP'S CAMPAIGN PLAYLIST
Now 100% unlicensed!
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